After a class yesterday, every one of the participants hung around discussing the latest diet craze. I encourage people to talk about their struggles, what is working for them, and what is not- so it is not surprising to hear people throwing out information that they think will help, since it is working for them.In all honesty, I don't know that every fad diet is the worst thing in the world for everyone. Sometimes a little more awareness about how much we really eat can become clear when we do some calorie restriction. And sometimes it is best for people to go completely off the recommendation of 5-6 meals a day and start listening to their bodies signal for when they are hungry and when they are full. And still others need to simply learn to eat whole foods and do more meal planning. What chaps my hide is that everyone is effected by conversations about dieting very differently. Some automatically dismiss it, others grab on to every detail and will try anything to lose weight. I work with multiple clients who have disordered eating. And the majority of women, whether they admit it or not, have distorted body image. The real question for me has never been- how did you lose the weight, it is why does being thin automatically make make us think you are better off? Do we even think about what we are saying and how it effects others?
It isn't just our societal and cultural expectations, it is the expectation we have of ourselves to look a certain way. It can be for health reasons, but at a certain point, it is less about health and more about making sure people perceive us as productive, meaningful, and accepted. I love to workout, and I value the fact that I am healthy- but I don't obsess over how many miles I run, how many times a week I lift weights, or how many calories I ate yesterday. I learned long ago that I wanted to fill my mind and heart with other details. I am speaking for myself here. I realize that the shame and discouragement that can come from not being able to loose weight is devastating. I want nothing more than for people to gain confidence through pursuing great things in their physical being. However, I am certain, that at least for me- the thing I will be thinking about most on my death bed will not be the size of my pants, the number on my scale, or how great I looked in my dress- it will be the people I loved and that loved me through this crazy roller-coaster of a life. Interestingly, later that same afternoon, another client of mine said, "It's not what you think you should do it is what you will do. Let's take out the should and focus on the will...once you take care of that step, then maybe we can look closer and bridging the gap." Why do we feel we should?
Getting more drastic, let's remove the word 'diet' and 'should' from our vocabulary. Let's start complimenting each other not for our amazing weight loss feat- but for our decision to start doing what we really know is best for us (and for those we love) and let the should's fall to the way side.
