Changing to Overcome Fear

After five years in a home that has brought much disappointment and lost dreams, we are moving out in 2 weeks. Only a month into purchasing our home, we have been imagining the day when we would finally be able to leave. The crazy and kind of stupid thing is that now that the day is drawing near, I am beginning to freak out.

Isn't it funny how when facing change, the things we thought we wanted so much are the things we begin to fear? Right now, the fear is that we won't be able to recover; that the sale of our house and the prospect of a new direction will only bring more heartache. There is such a correlation to what I am facing now and what I perceive as the process some us go through with acting in love toward our bodies. Thinking that we will finally be happy when we shed the weight, or we can wake up and not constantly worry about what we will eat or how we will feel we build up the moment of change so much that we can begin to fear it. We want to protect our hearts from having to possibly deal with more failure, more disappointment, or more change that doesn't give us what we hoped for. This protective mechanism might help dull the pain, but it robs us from enjoying the journey toward a life full of mystery and unexpected joy. It's risky to put our hearts out there and really try for something bigger and better, only to feel like life has failed us, or worse, we have failed ourselves.

Leo F. Buscaglia said, "The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live." No matter how much fear might rise up within us, we must keep pressing into it with our hands open to the possibility of making change that will teach us more about how to love ourselves and others. We can't control every step of the way, but we can decide how we will move forward. What steps will you take today to move away from fear, anxiety, doubt, and confusion and more toward conviction, love, optimism, and hope? There is so much already within you to trust. Sometimes we just need a big step of faith to stand up to our fears!

Praying for Life

Good Friday is tomorrow. Regardless of your faith, you most likely pray in some way. Why is this? My guess is either we believe prayer works through our connection to a higher power or it is a reminder that we better get cracking to save ourselves. The psalmist David prayed, "Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again." - Psalm 71:20-21

Restoration is a process by which the lost, broken, lifeless, or damaged is brought back to its original condition, state, or energy level. To believe you can be restored is to believe that you have something of value, worth, and meaning that needs to be brought back to the surface once again. To me, this is our life process: to enjoy the freedom to express more and more of the goodness, love, and unique character that is you by learning from and living beyond all that has been bruised and hidden because of the abuse and "troubles" (as the psalmist writes) in our lives.

I can't pretend to understand the anguish you might have been through because of family strife, financial worries, death, devastation of a dream, or any other host of problems. Each of us has a story that is filled with personal details that have let us down, or that have left us confused about why our life isn't working out like we thought it might. Thankfully, we all have this in common. The real question is not why, but how will you deal with the disappointment? Many of you who work with Restoration Fitness are on a journey to recapture the joy you may have lost in loving your body. There a million and one reasons for why you may have lost or want to maintain the "body you want".

Here is my question for you: Do you have confidence that your life and joy will be restored? Is there an expectation within you, without any harbor of doubt, that you can be brought up from the depth of your despair about your weight or how you look? What will bring you comfort along your journey? David knew that he would be restored, rescued, and comforted. Perhaps prayer isn't something you practice or want to practice, but can you sense how just reading David's words helps us move forward with confidence and peace? He isn't sitting around saying "Oh my god, I can't believe my life is like this, what is wrong with me, why can't I get my $#it together, I am all alone, poor me" etc., etc. We don't pray or wish or meditate to simply ask that our troubles be taken away. We pray to get through them and come out victorious in the end. We want victory not just to have happiness, rather, to engage in this life fully with those around us without reservation or regret. The victory awaits you, will you take the steps to seek the restoration of your body and heart, or will you let another month or year go by neglecting their importance? Take 5-10 minutes today to simply sit in silence to listen to what your body and heart need or what they are telling you.

Photo from GreyBlueSkies' photostream