Getting past your past

I recently started a new program called "Downer to Dynamite". It is an 8 week series aimed to help educate, motivate, and support women who want to get out of their unhealthy habits, and begin to respect themselves mentally, emotionally, and physically. The incredible thing that has happened, is that I, too, have found myself being challenged by the program. Some questions really get you thinking about a variety of life-issues.

What has occurred to me is that most of us are still getting over insecurities or coping mechanisms we learned from our youth. If any of our basic needs for safety, love, food, movement, and shelter were ever unmet (think Maslow's Hierarchy), we likely created our own way to protect and care for ourselves. It is in these mechanisms that we are still reacting to our life circumstances. For instance, in the fourth grade, my family moved to a new school district where I first felt the stares of the "new girls". I felt totally unsafe and unloved. I thought I couldn't really trust people and that I had to please a lot of people in order to be accepted. Well, I still get anxious about friendships for that reason. And sometimes I cope with this anxiety by dressing differently or reaching for exercise or food to calm myself.

Thankfully, I have a high level of awareness of these defense mechanisms and have realized I have a choice to either react and let them control me, or I can let the real emotion sink in and deal with it healthfully by talking to people, doing some journaling, or remembering the truth that I AM ENOUGH, just the way I am.

CS lewis once wrote, “Pain removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul".

Understanding our source of pain helps us to unveil the truth of how we have created habits of self-preservation. Some habits could be healthy, others may simply serve to bring us even more pain. Ask yourself these questions when faced with chronic anxiety, stress, negativity, or pain to unveil your truth and start the process of forming new reactions to your circunstances:
1) Where have I felt this before? or, When did I start feeling this way?
2) Why am I reacting this way in response to this feeling?
3) Do have someone I need to forgive or talk to about this to get past my past?
4) What are some other ways that I can act out my response that honors my heart but empowers me rather than bringing me down?
For more info, visit Getting Past your Past