Beating yourself up won't help

As a personal trainer, I often times feel like I am managing a jack-of-all-trades health position. Not only am I to be educated and experienced at weight training, flexibility, and cardiovascular health, I also feel I need to be a coach, psychologist, nutritionist, and holistic lifestyle guru. Now, if I can wear all these hats and do them perfectly, everyone will lose weight and love me, right?

WRONG. In the same way that we cannot be everything to everyone, and do everything perfectly all the time...I cannot try to be all-of-the-above-trainer at all times.

I am perfectly flawed. Yep, I have flaws...and they are perfect. I own up to them, I acknowledge them, and I understand that it will take a lifetime to either embrace them or work toward improving them. There are multiple reasons why I might sabotage my abilities by getting down on myself (and I promise I am ALWAYS trying to live above this) but I wanted to point out some ways you can avoid crippling your ability to stay on course with your health and wellness:

• Get accountability: via classes, friends, a trainer, a coach, or by joining a training group for a race or charitable event.
  
• Eat no less than 1200 calories/day for weight loss. You can estimate how many calories you need online. Be sure to include at least 25 grams of fiber/day, and lots of lean protein.
  
• Get 5 days of at least 30min high-intensity interval training: this would included circuit resistance training or interval cardio work.
• Drink half your body weight in ounces/day and reduce alcohol and caffeine
• Sleep 7-9hours every night. Ideally try to be asleep by 10:30 so you are ready for your morning workout.
• Plan. Put your workouts on your calendar and keep a log of what you actually do. You will stick to your plan longer, and have a nice reward of being able to look back at what you have accomplished. You can even keep track online!
  
• Have fun, ask for help when you need it, and reward yourself when you meet specific goals.
  

Getting past your past

I recently started a new program called "Downer to Dynamite". It is an 8 week series aimed to help educate, motivate, and support women who want to get out of their unhealthy habits, and begin to respect themselves mentally, emotionally, and physically. The incredible thing that has happened, is that I, too, have found myself being challenged by the program. Some questions really get you thinking about a variety of life-issues.

What has occurred to me is that most of us are still getting over insecurities or coping mechanisms we learned from our youth. If any of our basic needs for safety, love, food, movement, and shelter were ever unmet (think Maslow's Hierarchy), we likely created our own way to protect and care for ourselves. It is in these mechanisms that we are still reacting to our life circumstances. For instance, in the fourth grade, my family moved to a new school district where I first felt the stares of the "new girls". I felt totally unsafe and unloved. I thought I couldn't really trust people and that I had to please a lot of people in order to be accepted. Well, I still get anxious about friendships for that reason. And sometimes I cope with this anxiety by dressing differently or reaching for exercise or food to calm myself.

Thankfully, I have a high level of awareness of these defense mechanisms and have realized I have a choice to either react and let them control me, or I can let the real emotion sink in and deal with it healthfully by talking to people, doing some journaling, or remembering the truth that I AM ENOUGH, just the way I am.

CS lewis once wrote, “Pain removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul".

Understanding our source of pain helps us to unveil the truth of how we have created habits of self-preservation. Some habits could be healthy, others may simply serve to bring us even more pain. Ask yourself these questions when faced with chronic anxiety, stress, negativity, or pain to unveil your truth and start the process of forming new reactions to your circunstances:
1) Where have I felt this before? or, When did I start feeling this way?
2) Why am I reacting this way in response to this feeling?
3) Do have someone I need to forgive or talk to about this to get past my past?
4) What are some other ways that I can act out my response that honors my heart but empowers me rather than bringing me down?
For more info, visit Getting Past your Past