Something to Chew On

I am reminded today that the primary perceived role of personal trainers is to help people lose weight. However, let it be known that some personal trainers focus on many other priority items such as injury prevention and recovery, sports performance, or diabetes management to name a few.

I happen to love to work with women around body image. Helping women and girls develop a strong inner belief about their beauty is what makes my heart sing. "The Body Positive movement, started by Dr. Deb Burgard, focuses on defining 'healthy weight' not from a generic height/weight chart or even by arbitrary Body Mass Index cut-offs, but rather as the weight your body is when you are living a reasonable life. The practice of the Body Positive message is not in focusing on weight at all, but rather the decisions you make day-today about how you parent yourself and meet your needs." Here is where it gets tricky.

We can be obsessed with an ideal that is not realistic for our life circumstances and body type, but we can also self-sabotage to the point where any attempt we make to feel better about ourselves ends up getting flushed down the toilet along with our sense of self-worth. There is the over-striving to please a peer-pressured and media driven society, and then there is the horrible consequences of hating ourselves so much that we don't even remember what it means to have a day where we are proud of who we are outside our own skin.

Where do you fall? "Who am I and how do I make a difference in the world?" has been replaced with "What should I look like and what image should I project?" (Kearney-Cooke & Striegel-Moore, 1992, p. 99).

How is your perception of your body or the energy of your health taking you away from how you are making a difference in the world?

Now that is something to chew on!

STOP the Chaos Inside

Every now and then, I have an event or circumstance that tries to knock me flat on my back with hopelessness, despair, and, in the end, a fruitless freak-out attempt to scramble to get things back under "control". We truly are are own worst enemy. Rather than saying no; rather than just letting things go and letting life flow out from us, we have an internal tantrum and demand that life behave. After all, it is our life and it must be tamed so that we know what to expect and live in such a way that our days stay organized and pretty, right?

Well, in my humble experience, the most important thing we can do is STOP. Will the world really end if we don't wear the same size jeans we wore in high school? Will all our friends truly desert us if we don't go to that happy hour on Thursday? What will people really think if we start allowing ourselves to be in the moment instead of constantly worrying about the past, hiding our present, or sacrificing what really matters most for the unknown future?

I am a driven person. I inherently push those around me and I get disappointed with myself and others easily. But I have found that when I let go, and I give my life some space to let in love and simply stop to see what can happen...then I allow others and myself to experience more in this life through the chaos than we would have if I would have kept it stuffed my tiny little box of expectations. See what a little chaos might do for you today...I dare you!

Are you a victim?

Women are fascinating. The highs and lows of hormones often leave us victim to unpredictable days. The problem: We slip easily into victim mentality when we aren't fulfilled by life. To fill our void we allow ourselves to be filled by whatever comes easy...food, alcohol, toxic relationships, etc. When we are in victim mentality, we don’t see the range of choices we have and we wallow in resentment. We feel helpless.

The solution: In order to eliminate our victim mentality, we must:

1. Start by accepting the reality of the situation instead of trying to achieve an unrealistic ideal.
2. Find the best choice available within the reality of the circumstances, and then
3. Accept that choice instead of resenting it.

Victims live in fear. They make excuses for their lives. They hide to make themselves secure. They make up irrational ideas to help them cope with their circumstances. They shut out relationships and turn to addictions to keep themselves numb. Victims don't always consciously choose to live this way, it is simply how they have survived their life experiences. We all have a story with a history and a plot, with tragedy and triumph. Have you been a victim to the story of your life, just letting life happen without any intent or goals, or are you embracing the story with all its highs and lows and forging ahead toward what you need regardless of what standards and ideals the media and social pressures may expect from you?

Let's face it. Life is not easy. We have to make the best of our individual experience. Which means that killing ourselves to try to fit into a size 6 jeans may not be what is best for our lives. It might feel good for a a moment when or if you can reach the goal, but only if it can help you to live a more balanced, healthy, and joyful life.

How will you embrace your story? What do you need to help you make your story more enriching and vibrant?

For more information about how you can connect with community and overcome feeling like a victim in your health and wellness program, read more about the H.E.A.L. program.

Exercise: Friend or Foe?

Time magazine published a feature article this past week about "Why Exercise Won't Make You Thin". Far be it from me (a gal who has spent half her life studying exercise) to argue with the author, John Cloud, for profiling exercise in a predominantly negative light. I agree, losing weight is much more about what we eat and where we stand mentally/emotionally than simply spending hours on the treadmill. Let's take a closer look at a few common fitness beliefs to see how we can apply this information to our highest benefit:

1) Exercise burns calories which in turn helps us lose weight. The fact that exercise burns calories is true, and we can tweak how many calories we burn in a session by the intensity with which we exercise. However, it takes way more energy to burn calories through exercise than it does to simply just not eat as much. As we commit to more and more exercise, we may be left feeling worn-down and even more hungry.
Solution: Don't try to kill yourself with every workout. Make sure you still have enough energy on most days to do your "chores", play with your kids, etc. Surround yourself with healthy food choices so you are combining your exercise with a balanced diet/post-workout snack rather than binging after your exercise session.
2) When I exercise, it will automatically help me make better food choices. Unfortunately, when we rev up our metabolism from increasing our exercise, our body will tend to want to increase its drive for caloric intake as well. In Brian Wansinks studies on mindless eating, he found that out of 1,004 Americans surveyed, 86% sought out comfort foods when they were happy, and 74% when they wanted to celebrate or reward themselves. In other words, when we feel we have accomplished something, like completing a hard workout, we might lean toward rewarding ourselves with food. Not a great combo when trying to shed pounds.
Solution: Take the mindless eating challenge. It's free and could save you hundreds in unnecessary calories, simply by staying aware and making small, painless adjustments in your eating habits.
3) I have to run or lift weights to get an effective weight loss workout. As much as I love both running and weights, every one of us has different needs when it comes to exercise. Our personalities have a huge impact on what type of movement we enjoy, and what our bodies typically need most. However, doing any activity that gets your moving, smiling and generally getting our stress out is the primary goal.
Solution: You don't have to do what your neighbor does or things that simply drive you nuts. Commit to something you genuinely enjoy and do it consistently. I have some suggestions based on personality type here.

Overall, my response is that exercise can make you thin when it is used for the right reasons, with the right expectations, and in combination with many other life-style habits that contribute to wellness. These things might include getting consistently good sleep, eating mindfully and sticking closely to a balanced diet, drinking plenty of water, and surrounding ourselves with good relationships and work environments. Our individual health does not simply follow a single stream, it has multiple tributaries that create our river of life.

Expectation overload

I love waiting for a good thing. Maybe it is a sick trait of personal trainers, but I really do find amazing satisfaction out of watching the steady progress of physical change in others while patiently waiting for all the hard work to pay off. Perhaps this is what has always made me love running so much. In fact I get down right giddy about waiting to open a gift. Although, I have to admit, these days my ability to wait has waned. The expectation of what is to come is overwhelming at times. It doesn't really matter if we expect it to be a good thing or not, if what we expect doesn't actually happen, we are inevitably disappointed.

What are you expecting out of life that has left your overwhelmed or disappointed? The women I work with have a mile high list of expectations for themselves everyday...and they wonder why they always feel like they never measure up. It is even harder for high achievers or people pleasers to keep our expectations in check. We want it to have it all, give it all, and be it all...all the time. This just isn't realistic.

Here are some ideas to keep your daily, monthly, and life expectations in check:

1. Make a vision board: Take a half day (trust me, the time is worth it) and gather lots of magazines, clippings, drawings, or whatever reflects your life passions and put together a single page map of what is most important to you. If over the nest 2-5 years you could have all that you think would make you happy and successful, what would it be?
2. Plan out your days in time blocks. Not only should you put in your regular daily appointments for you, your kids, your mate, and your pets, but you should enter things in like, pay bills, grocery shopping. Anything that regularly takes time.
3. If possible, check in with your to do list as it reflects on your time blocks above. Do everything you can to delegate or get rid of tasks that either someone else can do (or be paid to do) or just decide to scrap them. This works well for things like book-keeping, cleaning, or dog walking.
4. Make a conscious decision to let go of your expectations and be gentle with yourself. If life is coming at you way too fast, and you are getting altogether too down and out about what you are doing or being...stop, take a deep breath, and let go. Ask yourself this question: In 5 years from now, will I be stressed out for not having done or accomplished whatever it is I am freaking out about now? If the answer is anywhere near no, then, please, let it go and relax. You are superwoman just as you are. Really.